i know it's chemicals that make me cling to you, cling to you

This morning I had one of those moments when you feel like your whole world is sinking, because you're slowly but at the same time very quickly realising you've lost something of extreme importance (and, in my case, monetary value). Bring Me The Horizon in your headphones optional, although it did add to the mood.
One minute I had my £6,000 travel card in my hand, the next minute I could barely breathe because the train had started moving and my first thought was the card is there, on the platform somewhere, my trusty £6,000 card, with my face before I lost weight on, which I took out a loan and paid £6,000 for. £6,000 on a platform in Colchester train station, which I'm leaving behind at 15,896,547 Mph.

Of course by this time I was already going through my bag and pockets like there's no tomorrow, and what happened next made me really happy.
A slightly older than middle-aged gentleman spoke to me in a reassuring voice asking if I was looking for my travel card. There and then in that moment I knew that either he was a total cunt, having seen me lose it before we got on this train and said nothing, or a little angel who can somehow see the card somewhere I can't.
The latter turned out to be the case, and I thought wow, I do love random nice people on public transport. Like that guy who just gave me the 20p I needed for my bus journey that one night.

And then when I got to Liverpool Street I got the chance to pay it forward so to say. This young schoolgirl dropped a £10 note and didn't notice it. Guess who was there to save the day.
I expect karma points, because I'm not sure it works in reverse.

It's been a lovely Wednesday.



--


So it turns out tinder isn't the worst thing that could have ever happened to me.
But I suppose later on that in my future posts, because so far all I shall say is I have been impersonating the Cheshire Cat for the best part of the last 9 days. Prepare your body for the incoming cheese:
It has been like nothing I have ever experienced before.
That's it, won't say any more for now, even though my insides are trembling with how much I want to express everything to the outside world. Shout it off the rooftops if you will...

PVRIS - St Patrick

desperate times call for double measures

So it's coming up to a month since I ventured out into the world of online dating. And all I can say I'm now in a bit of a love-hate relationship with it. It's literally been the most interesting, exciting yet frustrating experience ever.

Like for example, what photos do you put up so you attract the right crowd? I first had an artsy sort of picture, but nothing too out there. It seemed to be going pretty well, however, the crowd wasn't quote right.
In a desperate attempt to just get more views in general, I changed it for something where I look conventionally hot, if I do say so myself. I mostly got an influx of messages from the opposite kind of men to my ideal potential matches. Then yesterday I put up something where I have some sick looking make up on, just to repel every EssexBwoiiii69 that might be interested.
And if that doesn't get the juices flowing for you mate, I don't think I want to hear from you.

And yes, I am only saying that because I went way out of my comfort zone and messaged about 10 attractive men, whom I'm not even gonna lie, I imagined drinking wine, eating cheese and having very cool intellectual conversations with. And then fucking for hours.
But got no replies.

That's right, I suppose I do deserve a taste of my own medicine once in a while, for turning down every feet-, gym- and veganism-obsessed male out there. But for fuck's sake, there must be at least one or two attractive, intelligent, fairly tall omnivore 24-36 year olds with no kids or open relationships, whom I could go to museums, galleries, gigs, and cool hipster-esque eateries with?

or is that too much to ask for?

The Courteeners - Scratch Your Name Upon My Lips