now that I am a legit 20-year-old, I can honestly say I have no idea where in my life I am. I don’t know where I want to be in 5 years time, I’m not even sure what I want to do when/if I graduate. I can’t imagine myself having a well-paid office job, I can’t imagine myself marrying someone and having children, hell I can’t even imagine myself in a relationship because I’ve never been close to being in one. there are still so many things I haven’t done but yet so many things I’ve done and kind of regret - they would have been good lessons if only I knew how to learn from my own mistakes. I’m still such a big child, a naive little girl who can have a crush on anyone who speaks to her nicely but I like to think of myself as an adult who needs to sort her life out, learn to look after herself and be all independent… I have so many personality issues some of which I probably don’t even know, and which make my life so much harder than it really is. I constantly try to shape my body towards some unachievable goal, have extremely difficult times doing that, sometimes I truly hate myself, other times I hate and blame the society, my mum, everyone around me but even though I know my issues is what really needs to be fixed, I don’t know where to start doing that. I don’t know if what I wrote makes any sense, but there you have it, gonna sound very cliche but at the age of 20 I’m standing in a crossroads and cant think of a way to make my life seem better.
tai va, tokios tokelės.
tai va, tokios tokelės.
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